Saturday, May 14, 2011

those last 3 miles had to be longer than 3 miles

It's ridiculous how you can go from being physically fit to what I am today; a mass of skin, muscle, fat and water that prefers to share a blood supply with my recliner than being physically active.  Oh sure, I know that inner awakening is occurring - what I fondly refer to as "the zone."  Still, I wish I could go back to myself 6 years ago and show myself what would happen if I stopped moving.  What would happen?  Three miles of a gentle incline would cause me to doubt all that I am doing.  Near the end of those 3 miles I just kept thinking, over and over and over, "you are going to walk 20 miles, go to sleep, wake up and walk 20 miles.  Then you will go to sleep and wake up and walk 20 miles."  And I felt like a failure.

I know I am not.  I am only expressing the thoughts that were going through my head at that moment.  Thankfully I have this great cause to keep me motivated.  It is too easy to wrap it all up and make up another excuse - but not with this cause on the line.  Not with all the great support I have from my friends, family, co-workers and donors.  I look forward to a day, very soon, when I look back at this post and say "this was the step I had to take to get me where I am today."  And I will feel strong.

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